Is social media helping us become better people?

It’s a popular and ongoing debate subject – Is social media making us more (or less) social? A solid case can be made for both sides of the debate. You only have to witness a table full of Millennials sitting together, eyes glued to their smart phones, seemingly oblivious to the presence of other humans, to know that technology has radically altered their in-the-flesh social engagement.

To be clear, the majority opinion is that social media is actually making us LESS social. A recent poll conducted at debate.org asked “Has social media made us less social?” 85% of respondents said Yes.

Today I am taking the opposing view and exploring some of the ways that new communication options are having a positive effect on our social lives, and how this enhanced and intensive connectivity is playing out face-to-face in the real world.

We are building stronger bonds

When we become “friends” on Facebook, “followers” on Twitter, or join each other’s “circles” on Google+, it lets us feel more connected, so when we actually see each other in the real world, we feel a much closer tie – a kinship with the other person. I am always surprised (and flattered) to learn that the other person has kept up with my life through the posts I have shared. Lots of people don’t feel compelled to “Like” or comment on everything they see, so it’s nice to find out they care.

Virtual friendship has real value

Even people we have never met in person can become important to us. In the old days many people had pen pals (remember letters?) and often those relationships grew to hold great meaning to both parties. On Facebook, one day you stop and realize that you and this other person you've never "met" have been “friends” for 7 years now! You have history together.

Casting a wider net

Social platforms make it easier to keep up on the lives of way more people, and even to remember more people. Those of us that sometimes struggle with remembering people’s names (including yours truly) now have tools to help put names to faces. And as we expand our social networks, we are more aware than ever just how closely we are all connected. In a city like mine (Hamilton, Ontario pop. 520,000) you discover you are rarely more than one connection away from anyone. Playing the “Kevin Bacon” game in this city encourages you to treat everyone the way you would a “friend-of-a-friend”. Be kind. Don't burn bridges.

What really matters

I may be ridiculed for this one, but I believe people are gradually moving away from material pursuit and toward more spiritual, sustainable, and responsible lifestyles. If you are old enough to remember the 1980s you may remember the accompanying bumper sticker slogan-ism “He who dies with the most toys wins!” Go watch Michael Douglas and a young Charlie Sheen in the film Wall Street for a taste of the times. Acquiring “stuff” was a reason for living for a lot of folks then.

I suggest that today we place a higher value on our friendships and family, the wisdom shared by contemporary Thought Leaders, and the intelligence, awareness and engagement demonstrated by our peers. This is happening, or perhaps happening at a more rapid pace, due to the internet in general and social media in particular. More people are getting clear with themselves that kindness is cool, listening without judgment is effective and appreciated, and caring about social and environmental causes is something we are doing together. We are seeking and creating more meaning from our lives and the people we share them with. If this doesn't sound like your social network, maybe it's time to consider seeking out some new "friends".

Think about this: Do you hug people more today than you did 10 years ago? I do.